“O God, You know my foolishness; and my sins are not hidden from You. Let not those who wait for You, O Lord God of hosts, be ashamed because of me; let not those who seek You be confounded because of me, O God of Israel.” Psalm 69:5–6
I’ve never found confession to God difficult. I guess that comes from my belief that God already knows everything about me. He knows everything I’ve done, he knows everything I’ve said, and he knows everything I’ve thought.
I do, however, have a hard time admitting my faults to other people. I’m fearful when it comes to facing the anger and disappointment that may be directed at me if people knew my weakness and the things I’ve done. Because other people’s opinion of me is of great importance to me I fear that they’ll think less of me if my faults and mistakes were known.
But it’s not just to other people that I have difficulty admitting my faults. If I let too much time elapse after I’ve done or said something I shouldn’t have I find myself creating reasons and excuses to convince myself that I wasn’t in the wrong to have done and said what I did. I will try, if I can, to hide my sins from myself under a mountain of rationalization.
But God knows. His Holy Spirit is present and active convicting us of sin and righteousness. God’s not willing to let us remain trapped in our sin, even if the trap was one that we made for ourselves by our own excuses. Praise God that he knows, for if he didn’t know we’d surely be lost without hope of being found.
As a church leader I understand the part of David’s prayer recorded in the second part of our focus text, “Let not those who wait for You, O Lord God of hosts, be ashamed because of me; let not those who seek You be confounded because of me, O God of Israel.”
So many times over the last two decades I’ve gone to prayer meeting or church after having had a week filled with blunders, bad choices, and mistakes. My heart was fill with doubt, depression and anger, but still I had people looking to me to lead them, to give them a message of hope and a blessing. My prayer like David’s was, “Don’t let anyone fall away because of me. Don’t let my mistakes and my unworthiness hide your face from your people and defraud them of the blessing that ought to be theirs.
David wasn’t a perfect man but the Lord himself said, “David is a man after God’s own heart.” This meant that regardless whatever mistakes and entanglements David had to deal with he was always seeking God; to know his heart. Because of this David learned that “in the acceptable time” and “in the multitude of God’s mercy” God would save, redeem and restore. God knows the right time and the right way to bring us back to him and his love for us is so great that he will do what ever it takes.
David’s sins were great but God’s mercy is greater. David’s sins were forgiven and even though the worst of them are recorded for all to read in the scriptures David’s legacy isn’t his failures it’s his faith. Seek God all your life like David did. He will save you and he’ll make sure no one is ruined because of your mistakes.